What should be done to identify and eliminate personality defects ?

1. Prepare a list of your personality defects

Every individual has some defect or the other. Do you know about anyone in your school, neighbourhood or circle of friends who does not have any personality defect ? No, is it not ?.

God is only one without any defects because he is enriched with all virtues. Remaining happy all the time is the basic nature of God. Now, let us see which defects we need to overcome and which virtues we need to inculcate to become happy like Him. Given below is a comparative list of some defects and virtues. The classification of defects made further has been done to help us decide which defect is more detrimental. The order of defects in each classified group is made as follows – the most detrimental defects first followed by the lesser ones. Based on each individual’s temperament and personality defects this classification can be changed partially.

2. Personality defects which are more distressing to others

Defect

Virtue that needs to be adopted

A. Destructive attitude Performing constructive tasks
B. Quarrelsome Mingling with others, forgiving
C. Short-temper Understanding, affectionate
D. Irritable Self-control, peaceful
E. Arrogant Humble
F. Looking down upon others Respecting others
G. Criticising others Praising others, appreciating virtues
H. Not hospitable Hospitable
I. Blaming others Understanding others
J. Harbouring  misconceptions Not harbouring misconceptions, constantly living in the present
K. Stubborn Mingling with others, attitude of listening to others, behaving as per others wishes, not developing a pessimistic attitude
L. Moody Regularity, decisiveness, consistency
M. Tardy / late Punctuality

3. Personality defects which are more distressing to oneself

Defect

Virtue that needs to be adopted

A. Envy Feeling praise for others, attitude of learning from others
B. Jealousy Feeling appreciation for others, not feeling jealous, encouraging others, no animosity towards others
C. Suspicion Not suspicious, feeling secure, trusting others
D. Proud Humble
E. Arrogance Not arrogant, humble
F. Telling lies Speaking the truth
G. Dishonesty Honesty
H. Ungrateful Grateful
I. No repentance Repentance, feeling dejected on doing something wrong
J. Emotional Control over emotions
K. Lack of seriousness Understanding the seriousness of an issue
L. Lack of planning Good planning
M. Forgetful Good memory
N. Impatient Patient, self-control
O. Performing tasks carelessly Performing tasks carefully
P. Careless Careful
Q. Fearful Courageous, fearlessness, possessing the ability to fight
R. Irresponsible Responsible
S. Not performing duties Dutiful
T. Not working with concentration/shirking duties Working wholeheartedly
U. Overspending Thrifty
V. Day-dreaming Thinking of the present, living in the present continuously
W. Introverted Extroverted, mingling socially
X. Noticing others defects Paying attention to your own defects, not criticising others
Y. Disobedient Obedient
Z. Shy Carefree, confident in a crowd
AA. Not systematic Systematic

4. Personality defects which are less distressing to oneself

Defect

Virtue that needs to be adopted

A. Lazy Prompt, hardworking
B. No concentration Concentration
C. Not self-confident Self-confident
D. Poor decision making Good decision making
E. No leadership qualities Leadership qualities, firm, not withdrawing from a situation, steady
F. Lack of perseverance Perseverance
G. Unnecessary talk Speaking precisely, speaking what is necessary
H. Selfish Unselfish, benevolent attitude
I. Narrow-minded Broadminded
J. Self-centred Concerned about others or expansive
K. Not lending possessions to others Sacrificing for others sake
L. Not generous Generous
M. No concern for others Concern, love, unconditional love for others

Children, do you feel that you too have some of the defects listed above? Then do the following :

1. Prepare a list of all the personality defects that you have from the list given above.

2. If in addition to the above listed defects, if you notice other defects, then write them down in your list.

3. Show the list of your defects to your parents, siblings and friends and tell them to point out any changes or additions to the list.