Ideal parents and today’s parents

1. Definition of ideal parents

1. One who himself practises purity and also makes those who depend on him practise the same.

2. One who carries out all his duties meticulously through target oriented thoughts.

3. One who supports his children like a kalpataru (Wish fulfilling tree), thus making them self-reliant.

2. Peculiarities of ideal parents

1.Parent is the first friend of a child.

2.Parent is the only factor responsible for happiness and sorrow in the children’s life (e.g. Parents of Saint Dnyaneshwar, Jijamata).

3. Ideal parents in history

Women should nurture their children like Jijabai : Women should inculcate good sanskars (subconscious impressions) and values in the children’s mind like Jijabai; then only we will have well brought up children. Keeping in mind the example of Jijabai, who gave lessons on protection of Nation and Dharma and developed a character like Shivaji. All mothers too should give conscious attention and their time for developing their children.

4. Today’s parents

Changes that have occurred in parents over a period of time

1. Changes in Thoughts

2. Intellectual changes

3. Social changes

A. Parents giving priority to their job rather than Sanskars (impressions)

Nowadays parents say, “We cannot spare time from our job, how can we keep a close watch on our children?” However, the fact is that we ourselves go on increasing our needs. For meeting these increased needs, we require more money and for this reason both the parents have to work.

1. Keeping children in a creche : Since both the parents are working, there is no one to look after a child at home. So, nowadays many parents keep their children in a creche and go to work. As a consequence, the children are deprived of their parents’ company for a long time during the day.

2. Sending children to tuition classes : Parents having money neglect their children by sending them to tuition classes for studying. However, parents must remember that children will not imbibe virtues on the strength of money.

Ill effects of tuitions : No love for mother and father : Your child might get good marks due to tuitions, but it will not get good sanskars (impressions) and emotional satisfaction. That is the reason why today’s children do not have love for their parents, leave aside the Nation and Dharma.

B. Parents having no time for children

Some parents do jobs as a necessity to meet the daily needs, while others to kill the time. Some parents nowadays are engaged in parties and other forms of entertainment. There is nobody to listen to the children. What children actually need is love and presence of parents to give them company.

1. Adverse effects of not sparing time for children

Becoming psychologically weak : Parents nowadays have no time to listen to the problems of their children. Then to whom sould the children tell their grievances? Children do not get the company of their parents, sometimes due to paucity of time and sometimes non-realisation of its importance. This mental despair makes children psychologically weak. As a result, they become irritable . They become mentally perturbed and lag behind in studies. At this juncture, parents fail to realise the reasons behind these problems and instead, choose to send their wards for tuitions as an alternative.

Nation is deprived of a capable/strong generation : As children become mentally weak, the Nation is deprived of a capable generation.

C. Parents having a wrong point of view with respect to education

1. Marks obtained in an examination are more important than virtues : According to today’s parents, education is nothing else than the marks obtained in examinations. The parents attach more importance to the marks obtained in examinations than a change in the behaviour and good sanskars (impressions) brought about by education. This point of view is basically wrong and needs to be changed. ‘Education means growth and development of good sanskars.’ ‘Education means learning to live as a good human being.’ Parents have forgotten this point of view. Their only desire is to see that ‘My son becomes either a doctor or an engineer and earns a lot of money.’ ‘ My son must learn to live as a human being. He must have good sanskars (impressions).’ This is not felt by parents. As a result, they do not review their wards’ virtues as they do for the marks obtained in examinations. No wonder children give importance to marks.

D. The philosophy of life – More marks, competition for marks, money and career

Christian British ruling over Bharat destroyed the ‘Gurukul’ system of education (The ancient Indian educational system, wherein the students used to live in their Guru’s hermitage to acquire education.) This has resulted in closing of the main source of preparing ideal citizens taking pride in the Nation and Dharma. In the post-independence period, the influence of English has increased over the masses and most of the parents competed with one another to educate their children in English. Nowadays, philosophy of life of parents is based on the materialistic Western culture. Hence their children too have imbibed the same culture. Parents view the life of their children with a perspective of more marks, more money and good career. Most of the times we observe that today’s pampered children do not obey their parents, which is the result of attack of Western culture and forgetting of our own culture. Parents are also engaged in keeping their children busy in various hobbies and tuition classes. Most of the educated parents have an ardent desire to have their children good sanskars; but they do not understand how to go about it. One feels that today’s parents are engaged in preparing a generation leading to the materialism shown by the British.

E. Education in Bharat is proceeding in the downward direction

In ancient times Gurukul educational system had the strength for making patriotic generations : In ancient times, Gurukul system of education was the real identification of Bharat. The British were sure about the strength of this educational system which had the capacity to prepare generations taking pride in the Nation and Dharma; hence they crushed the system by inviting Macaulay to Bharat. The poisonous seeds of education in English sown by Macaulay have turned into a huge tree. We will have to digest the truth about the younger generation that it is ignorant about most of the basic questions like, when does Hindu New Year commence? Which is our main Holy Scripture? Which are the main Deities in Hindu Dharma and what is their purpose ? What is the aim of human birth? and many others which they will not be able to answer! It is unfortunate that we have to digest this truth. It is a tragedy that we do not realise that the essence of life lies in following the values laid down by Hindu Dharma and that the British have taken us far away from our Dharma !